Finding Your Identity- In Singleness
Being a single woman can feel very lonely or confusing in our society. People are left to feel inadequate or unlovable if they are single for any amount of time. Before I met my husband, I was single for two years and felt very discouraged at times. This time in life can be hard for young women because it seems that everyone else their age is getting married and having children. Older women also struggle as they see their time for having children drift away or feel the pains of loneliness. Regardless of age, one's self esteem can take a major hit.
The questions may begin to arise; What is my identity? Why am I still single? Is there someone out there for me?
Take hope! If you are a Christian, you have already found your Soul Mate. Christ is the only One who can fill every void in our lives, and is faithful to never let us down. Earthly marriage is a picture of our spiritual marriage to our Savior. I know for some of you that answer may still seem discouraging. You still long to grow old with someone and have children. Listen to what Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7.
"But I say to the unmarried and to the widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I (unmarried). But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion...Only, as the Lord has assigned to each one, as God has called each, in this manner let him walk...Each man must remain in that condition in which he was called...The woman who is unmarried and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. This I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you, but to promote what is seemly and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord." (v. 8-9, 17, 20, 34-35)
Paul was not married and neither were most of the apostles of the early church. They found this to be freeing (v. 32). Once you are married, your husband and family must become an earthly priority. This takes away from your ability to serve the Lord as you were able to while you were single. As a married woman I can attest to the fact it can be easy to place your husband as an idol in your life. You go to him seeking comfort, advice, love, and friendship, and can easily begin to place God on the back burner. I can only imagine the added struggles once we have children. There are also financial and time restrictions to ministry. When you make money to support only yourself, you can use that money however the Lord leads. When you are married, you must use the money in a responsible way that provides what is best for your family needs. The same goes with how you spend your time. There is one stipulation to staying single, and that is lust. Paul warns not to let physical passion consume you in your singleness. It is better to get married than to have sex outside of marriage.
Paul tells us that singleness is a calling. (v. 17, 20) That could be for a year or a lifetime, but if that is where you are now, try to see it as a blessing. Take advantage of your earthly freedom to grow your spiritual marriage to the one True Love. Pray that whether God calls you to a life of marriage or singleness, you will always look to Him for your identity.
The questions may begin to arise; What is my identity? Why am I still single? Is there someone out there for me?
Take hope! If you are a Christian, you have already found your Soul Mate. Christ is the only One who can fill every void in our lives, and is faithful to never let us down. Earthly marriage is a picture of our spiritual marriage to our Savior. I know for some of you that answer may still seem discouraging. You still long to grow old with someone and have children. Listen to what Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7.
"But I say to the unmarried and to the widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I (unmarried). But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion...Only, as the Lord has assigned to each one, as God has called each, in this manner let him walk...Each man must remain in that condition in which he was called...The woman who is unmarried and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. This I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you, but to promote what is seemly and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord." (v. 8-9, 17, 20, 34-35)
Paul was not married and neither were most of the apostles of the early church. They found this to be freeing (v. 32). Once you are married, your husband and family must become an earthly priority. This takes away from your ability to serve the Lord as you were able to while you were single. As a married woman I can attest to the fact it can be easy to place your husband as an idol in your life. You go to him seeking comfort, advice, love, and friendship, and can easily begin to place God on the back burner. I can only imagine the added struggles once we have children. There are also financial and time restrictions to ministry. When you make money to support only yourself, you can use that money however the Lord leads. When you are married, you must use the money in a responsible way that provides what is best for your family needs. The same goes with how you spend your time. There is one stipulation to staying single, and that is lust. Paul warns not to let physical passion consume you in your singleness. It is better to get married than to have sex outside of marriage.
Paul tells us that singleness is a calling. (v. 17, 20) That could be for a year or a lifetime, but if that is where you are now, try to see it as a blessing. Take advantage of your earthly freedom to grow your spiritual marriage to the one True Love. Pray that whether God calls you to a life of marriage or singleness, you will always look to Him for your identity.
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