For the Love of Self
I had the privilege of going out with my mom last night for dinner and a little shopping. As we were finishing up our meal, we began to discuss the danger of discontentment in life's circumstances. It is so easy to find ourselves wishing we could change the past or live in a different present. This ties together a theme that I have discovered in my personal and bible study lately. Self! We like to blame the Devil, our upbringing, current environment, and those around us for our unhappiness, but have you ever stopped to think that you could be your biggest problem?
Two areas of self-centeredness that seem to plague women the most are control and insecurity. We like to control the running of our house, our children, spouses, jobs....you name it. This is a result of our sin stemming all the way back to Adam and Eve. "And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you." (Genesis 3:16b, NLT) The natural order of authority was not only perverted between God and man, but between men and women. We now not only seek control in earthly relationships, but in every circumstance we face. Maybe you don't see this as much of a problem. After all, we have a responsibility to maintain an orderly home and raise well mannered children, right? Let me present it to you this way. God is sovereign and in control of every aspect of our lives. He is in the past, present, and future because He is without the bounds of time. He has a plan for our lives and is more concerned with conforming us to the image of His Son than teaching us how to rule in His place. Here's the best part; our contentment and joy in life will increase when our focus is on Christ and not ourselves. Control is only something we can seek after, never something we can obtain. Seeking after it only leads to frustration and disappointment. God places us in the positions and relationships we are in for our growth and dependence on Him. When we trust that God is in control, then we can be freed from the bonds that come with our sinful desire for control.
Control may seem like a more obvious area of self-centeredness than insecurity. It was only recently that the reality of insecurity as selfishness was presented to me. Insecurity (as termed by our society) is a victim mentality of selfishness. What is your immediate thought when you see the picture of the beautiful girl on social media who has written a caption such as: "I'm so ugly." or "I look fat in this picture."? The typical thought is how that girl is just wanting attention. It's because she is. What about someone who is not so beautiful and only thinks those thoughts to herself? Even though she is not broadcasting her disappointment to the world, she is also seeking attention. Everyone has a desire for approval, attention, acceptance, and affirmation from those around us. Those sound like good things to receive, so how then is it so self-centered? Ephesians 4:22-24 tells us "That, in reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit, and that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth." Paul labels our old way of life (our desire for approval, attention, acceptance, and affirmation) as corrupt and deceiving. That is because as believers, our identity should be found in Christ. He is the only One we can rely on to faithfully love us and fulfill our needs.
You have heard the saying, " You are your own worst enemy." and it's true. Our desires for control and/or acceptance leads us to a dark place of disappointment. I pray that if you struggle with either of these issues, God will give you freedom from the hold of "self" in your life. Trust that God has you where he wants you to be, who he wants you to be with, and has created you in His image. Let Him change the perspective of your circumstances and see every opportunity as one to honor and serve Him.
Two areas of self-centeredness that seem to plague women the most are control and insecurity. We like to control the running of our house, our children, spouses, jobs....you name it. This is a result of our sin stemming all the way back to Adam and Eve. "And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you." (Genesis 3:16b, NLT) The natural order of authority was not only perverted between God and man, but between men and women. We now not only seek control in earthly relationships, but in every circumstance we face. Maybe you don't see this as much of a problem. After all, we have a responsibility to maintain an orderly home and raise well mannered children, right? Let me present it to you this way. God is sovereign and in control of every aspect of our lives. He is in the past, present, and future because He is without the bounds of time. He has a plan for our lives and is more concerned with conforming us to the image of His Son than teaching us how to rule in His place. Here's the best part; our contentment and joy in life will increase when our focus is on Christ and not ourselves. Control is only something we can seek after, never something we can obtain. Seeking after it only leads to frustration and disappointment. God places us in the positions and relationships we are in for our growth and dependence on Him. When we trust that God is in control, then we can be freed from the bonds that come with our sinful desire for control.
Control may seem like a more obvious area of self-centeredness than insecurity. It was only recently that the reality of insecurity as selfishness was presented to me. Insecurity (as termed by our society) is a victim mentality of selfishness. What is your immediate thought when you see the picture of the beautiful girl on social media who has written a caption such as: "I'm so ugly." or "I look fat in this picture."? The typical thought is how that girl is just wanting attention. It's because she is. What about someone who is not so beautiful and only thinks those thoughts to herself? Even though she is not broadcasting her disappointment to the world, she is also seeking attention. Everyone has a desire for approval, attention, acceptance, and affirmation from those around us. Those sound like good things to receive, so how then is it so self-centered? Ephesians 4:22-24 tells us "That, in reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit, and that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth." Paul labels our old way of life (our desire for approval, attention, acceptance, and affirmation) as corrupt and deceiving. That is because as believers, our identity should be found in Christ. He is the only One we can rely on to faithfully love us and fulfill our needs.
You have heard the saying, " You are your own worst enemy." and it's true. Our desires for control and/or acceptance leads us to a dark place of disappointment. I pray that if you struggle with either of these issues, God will give you freedom from the hold of "self" in your life. Trust that God has you where he wants you to be, who he wants you to be with, and has created you in His image. Let Him change the perspective of your circumstances and see every opportunity as one to honor and serve Him.
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